Reinventing Myself Through Abstract Art

Abstract Painting bad art and meow

I’ve come to the realization that when it comes to my artistic endeavors, drawing is one that doesn’t top the list. In fact, the best thing I’ve ever drawn was a teddy bear my father helped me curate during my sophomore year of college that ultimately garnished me a C for effort.

I’ve written blogs on how painting has helped me to cope with my mother’s death, but the more I paint, the more I’ve been discovering my artistic style. As it turns out, I’m an abstract expressionist. Who knew?

A Different Kind of Outlet

Painting is a much different outlet for me than writing. When I write, I know what my intentions are. Regardless of whether or not I’m surprised where my ink and paper take me, the concept of my story is grounded in thought – and a thought I’ve spent countless workdays daydreaming over. While my characters may evolve, the story follows a format.

Painting – especially abstract painting – is elusive. I don’t know where my train of thought is going to take me until it’s already moved me there. The brush glides across a flimsy canvas. With acrylic soaked hands, my work speaks for itself, and sometimes, these paintings tell a story that I’m too incapable of saying out loud.

Abstract Painting bad art and meow

Amidst an argument I was having with a few of my closest friends, this painting emerged. It, subconsciously took three of our favorite colors, mashed them together to show what chaos had ensued. Friends argue and makeup; it’s a part of life. When I stood outside, thrashing paint across my lawn, dying blades of grass pink and purple, I realized just how cathartic painting had become for me – and just how loud a message that could utter.

bad art and meow abstract artwork

The same could be said for this painting here – ” Fever, or that time I really wanted you.” There’s a small inscription on the back of the canvas that reads, “love mom and dad,” but it’s not about my parents or my in-laws; it’s about John and I and our love for this child who is yet to exist.

It may seem strange to inscribe such a silly message with an empty womb, but I painted this on a Tuesday evening after work, after a playful conversation that made the two of us realize we were eager to start a family of our own. While we still have several months to go before our wedding, the eagerness we have to start a family has increasingly grown over the years.

Much More Than Words

Before, having a child came with all the plans we’d have to rearrange; it became all about the sacrifice. Now, what we want more than anything is to create someone that’s a part of us; someone who will be brave, be kind, be loving, be impactful to this universe.

Unlike words, whose meanings are outlined in black and white, painting is up for interpretation. A painting can be anything you want it to be. That’s the beauty of it.

 

6 Comments

  1. Such poetic writing. I’ve got my own version of this, it’s new to me. I like to take self-portraits that are a bit ambiguous emotionally, share them with the world and ask people what they think it conveys. The range of responses can be astounding. It’s like a one of those ink blot psychology tests I can’t remember the word for right now – some see hope or strength where others see intense sadness or exhaustion.

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    1. Kait,

      That’s such a beautiful sentiment! Do you have places where I could check out your artwork? I really love that you referred to it as an ink blot test. I’ve never looked at abstract that way before (even though that’s essentially what it is). What I’ve always found interesting is that I never know what the meaning of my painting is until after I’m finished. Then, I’m like, wait a second – these colors that I used were done purposely, etc. It’s amazing how my subconscious just belts out my emotions on canvas without my knowledge.

      If you’d ever be interested in doing a guest post here about your paintings and what they mean to you, please let me know. Thanks for taking the time out to comment and read my post!

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      1. I’m not a painter (yet, anyway lol). My mediums are photography, collage, floral arranging, writing, installation art (new to me) & dance. You can look at my blog or kaitmauro.com if you are curious.

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      1. I’ve been making art on and off for years. I think the first time I really got into drawing I was in middle school, but I didn’t really do it much after growing up until about 10 years ago or so. When I started drawing again, it naturally led me into painting, collaging, and other art forms.

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