This article was published on Elite Daily. You can view the article here.
Heartbreak happens. We date the wrong people, or we’re not ready, or they’re not ready, or the timing is wrong. We make mistakes.
But with the end of every relationship comes the promise of something new — if you learn something in the process.
To me, that’s the best thing about breaking up. Especially when you were in a terrible relationship to begin with.
Here’s why you should never regret dating the person who broke your heart, whether it was because the relationship was bad, or you thought he was “the one” but he wasn’t.
1. You learn what you won’t tolerate in a relationship.
There’s a certain level of self-reflection and clarity that comes from having your heart broken or walking away from a bad relationship.
You feel more confident than ever in your instincts and you know what you won’t stand for in a partner.
2. It gives you time to have some fun.
If you were in a bad relationship or have recently experienced the sting of heartbreak, chances are you want to take a break from dating and just have fun for a little while.
This gives you an opportunity to meet new people and learn how to be independent. And everyone knows there’s nothing sexier than someone who’s happy and confident in themselves.
3. You realize that everything happens for a reason.
Your heartbreak could be what makes you want to date a completely different type of person in future.
Variety is good. You never know, that person you never expected could be the one who matches you perfectly.
4. You notice that everything feels better in comparison.
When you start talking to someone who listens to your conversations, makes you and your relationship a priority and genuinely enjoys your company, you’ll realize how much time you wasted with people who didn’t do the same.
You’ll enjoy every bit of a healthy relationship, which will also in turn help you move on from the previous one.
5. You try new things.
People in relationships often fall into a routine that’s ‘safe’: they lose their appetite for trying new things. They forget the joy of being adventurous, spontaneous and silly.
Your new life post-breakup and your next relationship won’t be like that. You’ll try new activities, try new foods and visit new places. You’ll be healthier. You’ll see your friends more.
Your life and your new relationship definitely won’t be boring anymore.
6. You learn how to be vulnerable and open to deep connections.
In your previous relationship, you fought about the same topics and brought up the same problems.
This time around, you’ll find yourself opening up about old wounds but also finally feeling free enough to talk about your dreams.
You’ll spend hours lying in bed on Sunday morning having conversations. You’ll find that talking becomes more intimate than anything else.
7. You finally feel like yourself again.
When I was single after my bad relationship, I continued my identity as my ex’s ex. I struggled to find myself and I felt insecure about who I was.
When I met my current fiancé, I felt more like myself than I ever had in a relationship. He made me feel comfortable. The quirks my ex made me feel insecure about were just the things my fiancé adored about me. I went from feeling like a burden to feeling like the greatest part of someone’s day.
And for that reason, I will never regret my worst relationship and the heartbreak that accompanied it.
Bad relationships can be truly, soul-crushingly terrible. Mine taught me more about myself than I realized at the time.